Wake up one morning and decide that enough is enough. This is the day that everything changes, and you let go of all that pain. Spend the rest of the day trying to set things on fire with your mind because you still feel like shit.
Conclude that everything in your life needs to change. Plan a new life, with a new job and new friends, in a new location. Describe, in detail, the community you will have in place of your current, worn-out associates. If partnered, plan to leave. If single, identify all the qualities your new lover will possess. Make a vision board.
Get angry. Ten years of suppressed rage will erupt. It will be impossible to determine how much is real and how much is accumulated interest. Don’t bother to worry about the distinction.
Start venting to your closest friends. Remain unclear as to whether you are blowing off steam so as to prolong the current situation, or fanning the flames of anger. The important thing is to refrain from taking action as long as possible.
Break down under the weight of your combined anger and despair. Anger at yourself for letting this go on for so long, at the people around you for, at events, at anything you can get a hold on. Despair at ever feeling something other than helpless.
Sort through the anger. Some of it will be valid, some not. Put down the the anger that is simply depression in a new dress. Identify anger about things that need to change, and pick it back up. Accept that despair will climb aboard whether you like or not.
Make a list of changes. Or don’t. Make a rough outline of what you need. Or don’t. But take one step towards whatever your soul yearns for. If you can, take another. Don’t try to take too many steps at once. Crawl, if you have to.